Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
