trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I supernannyed him into submission
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