I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize