Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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