Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
worst night to have a conscience
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
