Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
