i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
BRING THE BAGELS
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
