I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
