Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
