just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
porn star boner night. come get it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
