Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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