You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
