i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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