I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
