he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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