Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
