I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
