I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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