He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
