I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize