I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
