I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
