Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
