Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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