Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
