I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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