you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
