i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
