Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
