At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
