I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
