Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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