I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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