Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
