hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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