Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
