Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize