It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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