so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No stitches, just platelets and will power
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
