dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
