He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
