its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
