She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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