last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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