So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
