so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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