i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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