i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
