Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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