I think im going to throw up on grandma
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
