Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
this hospital has no fireball
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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