I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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