Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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