Well douche your snatch and let's go!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
