She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
