I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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