I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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