my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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