I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
